Well, it's been almost 2 weeks since my last post. I feel like such a slacker but it's just been a hard couple of weeks. That phrase "Time heals" isn't all it's cracked up to be. If anything it's even harder now than it was a couple of weeks ago. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because it's really sunk in that he's gone and that this is our life now. I'll be fine one moment and then something will trigger something in me to the point where the tears can't be controlled. Even the smallest thing can make me so sad. We decided to take the boys to Lagoon on Saturday since we had promised them all summer we would go and for some reason never got around to it. They had a blast and Kaden was finally old enough this year to go on all of the big rollercoasters. (Even the one's I'm to chicken to go on.) He loved it. Jonas being our more timid and cautious child was perfectly content riding on the kiddie rides. I did my best to put on a happy face, but inside I was struggling. All around us were babies Lucas' age. I would see them on the merry go round sitting on thier mom's laps laughing as the animals went up and down. I would see them sharing a shaved ice with a sibling, thier mouths covered in red and blue stickiness. I would see them sitting in thier strollers sleeping through all of the noise. Even in the bathroom getting thier diapers changed. I was jealous of these moms who had no idea how lucky they were and I was sad that Lucas couldn't be there with us. Then I had to remind myself that we still have 2 wonderful boys and I should stop feeling sorry for myself. I am grateful for them in my life. Kaden's doing well in school and seems to be adjusting just fine. Jonas has been playing with friends a lot and loves it. I love it to because I seem to get more done when he has a friend to play with. We ordered Lucas' headstone and it should be here sometime the end of October. Hopefully it comes before the first freeze or we will have to wait until spring. We decided on a simple and small headstone for Lucas. It will have his picture on it and an etching of his bear. Aaron's uncle Doug is designing something special to engrave on the back. I can't wait to see it!!! We've been trying to stay busy and productive to help keep our minds off of things, but sometimes we like to take time to reflect and talk about Lucas and cry. We were late to church on Sunday because I had a break down and just sobbed. This is our life now and we are doing the best we can just taking it one day at a time. We have recieved many cards in the mail from freinds, family, and complete strangers over the past couple of weeks and I want to thank everyone for your continued support. It has truly helped knowing how many people love our family. Thank you for being there for us though this difficult time. We love you all so much!!!